National Institute on Media and the Family ousts flagbearer Jack Thompson

This is just a short one folks! (folks? As if anyone reads this...)

This is truly a great day for the gaming community--and no I'm not talking about the imminent release of GTA: Liberty City Stories, that's unfortunately still a while off. No, I'm talking about the National Institute on Media and the Family giving ol' Jack the boot. He's set off to slay corporate dragons in their name, but his damsel has torn her scarf from the forked tongue that serves as his lance.

But enough stupid metaphors, back to the man himself, Jack Thompson... this guy is blogging GOLD, man. He's always up to something. And considering some of the crap he's proposed in the past I sometimes wonder if his email account got hijacked by a malicious slanderer.

But no, it all made sense after his 80-minute ChatterBox interview, where he said, and at the time I rewound multiple times to make sure I'd got the context, "I'm out to destroy Rockstar". Now originally Jack portrayed himself as being against minors accessing mature games—something I am wholeheartedly in favour of, even before I saw posts of the nature of "What's the purple banana do?" in some GTA: San Andreas forums—and this is why the institute was behind him; keep M-rated games out of the hands of Little Johnny, all good, right?

Wrong. He's now out to destroy any company that "markets murder simulators" to children" (not his exact words, but his meaning). Why he chose R* as his scapegoat over EA, who arguably creates far more shooters and most especially "sniper trainers" than Rockstar does is a mystery; sure, the media has always favoured going after R*, but never so voraciously as Jack.

Taking into account the fact that Jack has no scientifically-detectable sense of humour, as well as his well-documented selective amnesia, I do sometimes wonder if he's, y'know, not quite all there upstairs. The more he does, the more I think about this fact, and I'm not kidding.

Anyway, this is a serious blow to him and a major win to us. Previously he's been going around touting the institute's name (and with their blessings) but he can no longer do this. Now, besides Hillary, he's virtually alone in the big bad world, just him and his ideals against the either bemused or seriously ticked off combined forces of R* and the ESRB.

Thompson's made some powerful enemies, and his strongest ally has just deserted him. Maybe he should just save face by retiring shortly—while he's got any face left to save after all these outbursts; an apology, the literary equivalent of Botox, might help some—and concentrate on relaxing with simulations of his past achievements.

Jack buddy, this drink's for you... OK, so it's only mineral water, well, a bottle that used to hold mineral water, but that's not the point: you truly are a marvel of this modern age. Without you we'd only have The Simpsons reruns to keep us laughing. Not that that would be a bad thing, but variety is a good part of every healthy diet, or so the "Veggie Monster" now tells us. Is nothing sacred? —Garrett